Let’s talk about that slippery little thing called self-trust. Not the performative “I’ve got this!” voice you use in front of your coworkers or your mom. I mean deep-in-your-gut, full-body, I-can-hear-my-own-inner-truth-even-when-the-world-is-screaming-at-me trust.
That kind. But here’s the truth most people won’t say out loud: It’s hard to trust yourself after you’ve betrayed yourself.
Yeah, I said it. Not just after someone else lies, cheats, ghosts, gaslights, or walks out the damn door. But when you saw the red flags and painted them a nice rosy shade of “it’s fine.” When you abandoned your own needs just to keep the peace. When your gut said “don’t go there,” and you sprinted barefoot into the fire anyway.
Here’s the thing, tigress—you’re not broken. You’re just bruised. And bruises heal. If you let them. So how the hell do you rebuild trust with yourself? I’ll tell you how. But fair warning: there’s no sparkly journal or 3-step Pinterest hack involved. This is the raw stuff. The real stuff.
1. Stop calling your past self stupid.
You made choices based on the information, capacity, and coping you had at the time. Maybe you were lonely. Maybe you believed their words over your instincts. Maybe you just wanted to believe it would work. That’s not stupid. That’s human. Shame doesn’t build trust—it builds walls. Drop the self-blame and get curious instead.
2. Start keeping tiny promises to yourself.
Don’t try to run a marathon when your emotional legs are still wobbling. Start small. I’ll take a walk today. I’ll say no to one thing that drains me. I’ll drink water before coffee. Micro promises. Daily wins. They build evidence that you are reliable. And that evidence matters.
3. Own your “no” like it’s sacred.
You wanna trust yourself again? Start treating your NO like it’s a whole damn prayer. No to what drains you. No to what confuses your body. No to what triggers the same old cycle. You don’t need a 12-paragraph explanation. Just “no” is a full sentence. Make it your comeback word.
4. Listen to your body before your brain spins a story.
Self-trust isn’t a mental checklist—it’s somatic. Your body knows before your brain rationalizes. That tightness in your chest? That clench in your belly? That deep sigh every time they text? Trust it. Your body’s not dramatic. It’s wise. Start listening.
5. Let the rebuild be messy.
You’re not going to wake up one day and be magically healed, unbothered, and ready to host a TED Talk on confidence. (But hey, maybe someday!) Right now, rebuilding trust might mean crying in the shower, setting a boundary and then second-guessing it, or saying yes to something new even while your hands shake. That’s not failure. That’s the work.
If no one’s told you lately: You didn’t lose your ability to trust. You just forgot that you are the one worth trusting. So this week, don’t try to be perfect. Try to be honest. Try to be consistent. Try to stay soft and strong. That’s how trust grows.
Rooting for you fiercely,
Rachel
