It’s January 7th, which means you’ve probably already seen 47 posts about someone’s morning routine, their ambitious reading list, and their commitment to green smoothies at 5am.

And maybe—just maybe—you’ve felt that little twinge of “I should probably do that too.”

Here’s where I’m gonna get real with you.

That workout program you added to your goals list? Do you actually want to do it, or do you think you should want a “revenge body”?

That side hustle everyone’s launching? Are you genuinely excited about it, or do you just feel like you’re supposed to be “hustling” to prove you’re ambitious enough?

That book club, that certification program, that commitment to post on social media three times a week? Whose voice is in your head when you wrote that down?

Because here’s what happens every January: We make a list of goals that sound impressive. Goals that make us look like we have our shit together. Goals that other people would nod approvingly at.

And then by February, we’re exhausted, resentful, and wondering why we can’t stick to anything.

The Real Problem

It’s not that you lack discipline. It’s not that you’re lazy or unmotivated.

It’s that you’re chasing goals you don’t actually want.

Let me give you some examples of what this looks like in real life:

• You say you want to “get healthy,” but what you really mean is you want to stop hating your body in photos. Those are two different goals, babe.
• You say you want to “network more,” but what you actually want is to feel less lonely in your career. Not the same thing.
• You say you want to “be more organized,” but what you really want is to stop feeling like you’re drowning in chaos and constantly behind. The organized part? That’s just what you think will fix it.
• You say you want to “lose 20 pounds,” but when you dig deeper, what you actually want is to feel confident wearing that dress in your closet. You don’t need the weight loss—you need permission to feel good in your body right now.

See the difference?

The “should” goals are surface level. They’re what we think success looks like from the outside.

The real goals? They’re what we actually ache for when no one’s watching.

How This Shows Up

You know that goal is a “should” goal when:

• You feel obligated, not excited
• You’re doing it to prove something to someone else
• It sounds good when you say it out loud, but feels heavy when you think about actually doing it
• You keep putting it off and then beating yourself up for “lacking motivation”
• It’s something you saw someone else doing and thought “I guess I should do that too”

You know it’s a REAL goal when:

• You feel a little spark when you think about it
• You’d still want it even if no one ever knew you achieved it
• It aligns with how you actually want to feel, not just how you want to look
• You’re willing to start messy and imperfect because you care that much

The Fierce Truth

You’re allowed to want what you want—not what your industry says you should want, not what your family expects, not what that influencer made look easy.

If you don’t actually care about waking up at 5am, don’t put it on your goal list just because everyone else is doing it.

If you don’t want to “level up your business” this year because honestly you just want more spaciousness and less stress, that’s allowed.

If your goal is simply to feel less anxious and more present, that’s not “less than” someone else’s goal to hit six figures or run a marathon.

Your goals get to be yours.