I feel stuck.

That’s a phrase I’ve been hearing a lot lately from my clients.

The mom who lost her identity after kids. The woman in her late 30s who’s not where she thought she’d be by now. The one who knows something needs to change but can’t seem to make it happen.

They all use the same word: stuck.

And here’s what I need you to hear:

You’re not stuck, babe. You’re scared.

So let’s be real about what’s actually happening…

You know what you want. Or at the very least, you know what you DON’T want.

You know the relationship isn’t working. You know you hate your job. You know you’re exhausted from putting everyone else first. You know you’re measuring yourself against a timeline that was never actually yours.

You’re not confused. You’re not stuck. You’re just terrified to make the choice you know you need to make.

Because making that choice means:

•  Disappointing someone
• Admitting what you actually want (even if it’s not what you’re
      “supposed” to want)
• Letting go of who you thought you’d be by now
• Taking responsibility for your own damn life

And that’s scary as hell. So instead, you call it “stuck.” Because stuck sounds like something that’s happening TO you. Stuck means it’s not your fault. Stuck means you don’t have to own the fact that you’re choosing to stay exactly where you are.

I know this because I’ve lived through it. 

I felt stuck in my last relationship. Nine years together but I was unhappy. And yet I contemplated leaving the relationship for three years. 3 YEARS! And you want to know the reason why I waited so long to end it? If I’m being honest, I was actually afraid of what was on the other side: Where would I live Would I be single for the rest of my life? What would his family think of me if I left him?

Let me paint you a picture. Tell me if this sounds familiar:

You can articulate EXACTLY what’s wrong. You can list in detail what’s not working, what makes you miserable, what you don’t want.

But when it comes to actually making a decision and acting on it? Crickets. You’re waiting for:

• The right time (there isn’t one)
• More clarity (you already have it)
• Permission (from who, exactly?)
• A guarantee it’ll work out (babe, that doesn’t exist)

You tell yourself you’re “figuring it out” or “waiting for a sign” or “not ready yet.”

But really you’re just scared of what happens when you choose yourself.

Scared of being judged. Scared of being wrong. Scared of disappointing your parents, your partner, your kids, your friends. Scared of proving everyone right who said you couldn’t do it. So you stay stuck. Because stuck feels safer than making a choice that might blow up your life.

Here’s what no one’s telling you sis:

You’re not stuck. You’re choosing to stay. And I’m not saying that to be harsh. I’m saying it because if you’re choosing to stay, that means you can also choose to leave. You can choose differently. You can choose yourself. You can choose to disappoint people and trust yourself anyway. But first, you have to stop pretending you don’t know what you want.

You know the relationship needs to end. You know you need to set boundaries with your family. You know you need to stop sacrificing yourself for everyone else. You know the career path you’re on isn’t actually yours—you’re just doing what you thought you were supposed to do.

You know. You’ve always known.

You’re just waiting for someone to give you permission to act on it.

So here it is, babe: Permission granted. 👈

You’re allowed to want something different. You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to let go of who you thought you’d be by now and own who you actually are. You’re allowed to choose yourself—even when it disappoints other people.

What You Actually Need Not more time. Not more information. Not more clarity.

You need to trust yourself more than you fear other people’s opinions.

Maybe this is you. Maybe this is a friend of yours. Forward this email to her.