Ever heard that Bible verse, “Love thy neighbor as thyself”? You’ve probably seen it painted on a piece of distressed driftwood at a conservative home goods store, right? It’s one of those warm-and-fuzzy phrases that sounds good but, let’s be real—do we ever stop to think about what it really means?

I’ve been reading through the Bible chronologically (yes, I’m that girl right now), and this verse popped up recently. It got me thinking. It’s an amazing piece of advice, sure. But here’s the catch: it assumes you’re already loving yourself. Like, truly loving yourself. It assumes you’re loyal to your own needs first and that you’re just extending that same love and care to others.

But let’s be honest: how often does that happen?

If you’re anything like most women I know—and the woman I used to be—it’s probably the other way around. We’re out here giving love and loyalty to everyone else like it’s our full-time job, often at the expense of our own happiness. We’ll bend over backwards to make others happy, even when it’s costing us our peace, our energy, and sometimes our sanity.

Why Are We Doing This?

Somewhere along the line, we learned that putting others first is what makes us “a good person”—a good mom, partner, friend, colleague, you name it. We’re so conditioned to prioritize everyone else’s needs that we’ve almost forgotten how to show up for ourselves.

But guess what? That verse doesn’t say, “Love thy neighbor instead of thyself.” It doesn’t say, “Give until you’re burned out and resentful.” It’s calling for balance. Equal love. Equal loyalty.

It’s Time to Flip the Script

In the spirit of self-love and Jesus’s wise words, I’m inviting you—no, challenging you—to start loving yourself just as much as you love others. Here’s what that could look like:

• Be loyal to yourself as much as you are to your partner, kids, or best friend. Keep the promises you make to yourself.
• Hold yourself accountable for meeting your own needs. Stop waiting for someone else to give you permission to prioritize your well-being.
• Honor your needs with the same energy and devotion you use to honor everyone else’s. You matter just as much.

Here’s a mantra to take with you:

“My needs are just as important as my [fill in the blank: kids’, partner’s, boss’s] needs.”

Write it down. Say it out loud. Put it on a sticky note and slap it on your bathroom mirror. Because the truth is, when you’re showing up for yourself, you’re better equipped to show up for everyone else. That’s not selfish—it’s smart.

Loving Yourself Isn’t Optional

The bottom line? If you’re not loving yourself, you’re missing the entire point of “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” It’s not just a cute sentiment or a Pinterest-worthy quote. It’s a call to action.

So, how will you answer it?

Start today. Start small. But whatever you do, start. Because you deserve the same love and loyalty you’ve been so generously giving to everyone else.

Your turn: What’s one way you can honor your own needs this week? Drop it in the comments below. Let’s make self-love the standard.