Sexuality and Shame In Women

Let me share a story with you…

I grew up in a religious family. I grew up believing that I needed to wait until I was married to experience sex. While that is a nice, idyllic thought, I felt an immense amount of shame because of it that followed me through to my thirties. 

You see, I’ve felt a sexual desire since I was in my late teens. But I suppressed it. I was afraid to lean into it for fear I would become an evil person. Yes, an evil person. 

Well I wasn’t ready to be married in my 20s. So I didn’t wait until marriage. Looking back, I wondered if my earlier sexual experiences would’ve been more thoughtful, more enjoyable if I wasn’t intensely criticizing myself over each one. I would literally have an inner dialogue going on in my head at the prospect of a new sexual partner. It was maddening.