Pick-Me Behavior

Pick me behavior, Fierce Wisdom Wednesday

So…let’s talk about ‘Pick-me’ behavior. Specifically the difference between being chosen from a place of intention, verses being chosen out of convenience.  

A couple of weeks ago I saw this funny Instagram reel of a woman dancing in a club with ‘Shrek’ dancing up behind her–unbeknownst to her. And her friends begin to signal to her “nah, nah, nah…you don’t wanna be dancing with that guy.” It was a goofy video. But I started reading through some of the comments and was shocked by how many women admitted to experiencing this situation but then needing their friend or someone else to come save them from the “Shrek” looking dude dancing behind them. 

I mean are we not be autonomous? Are we not empowering ourselves to say no to someone who just invaded our personal space without permission? Are we not doing these things?? 

Sidebar: it’s interesting to think about the psychology of this scenario. It’s totally okay with some women for a rando to dance up on her without permission until she realizes that she’s not physically attracted to this person.  

So this made me think about this whole idea of ‘pick-me’ behavior. And I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t want to be chosen by someone out of convenience. I want to be chosen from a place of intention because that person has made a conscious decision to bring me into their life. And yet I see women just allow anyone into their life without vetting them. And to me, that’s a sure sign of low self-esteem. You believe that nobody is going to choose you, so you’re just going to accept any willy nilly who waltzes into your life. 

That is not fair to you my tigress. You deserve better than that. And also know that just because someone intentionally chooses you, doesn’t mean you’re obligated to choose them back. Relationships are built on reciprocity. Both people need to be willing to contribute. 

So I encourage you to be discerning about who you let into your life. Who you let into your personal space. It’s the person who comes up to you and asks you to your face, “would you like to dance?” That is choosing you out of intention. And then you have the opportunity to say yes or no.

“I make conscious choices about who I let into my life.”

I hope you found this wisdom insightful today and encourages you to make choices from a place of power verses waiting to choose you out of convenience.