Use Your Yes’s Wisely

So I’ve spoken about the differences between saying yes and no before. But I really just wanna drive home the repercussions of being a people pleaser. This is especially top of mind because I’m currently reading The Body Keeps The Score and we just began the Fierce Confidence spring session. 

It can be damaging on your body to say yes all the time. The ‘nice girl’ inside of you may not wanna let somebody else down, but your body is damn sure to let you know the consequences of saying yes when you didn’t really have the capacity to say yes. I’ll give you an example of this in my own life.

A couple of years ago I took my brother in to be his primary caretaker which became a very heavy burden because he is recovering from substance abuse and has mental illness. To say it was a lot for me to handle, is an understatement. I over-extended myself…but I felt guilty if I didn’t because I wanted to be the good sister. The stress of overextending myself began manifesting in the form of psoriasis. I actually developed psoriasis on my eyelids and on my scalp. And I have never experienced that in my life before!

My body was literally telling me that something needed to change because it broke down.  And how am I supposed to care for somebody else if I’m broken down? I had to establish some boundaries for myself. So I made other living arrangements for my brother. I could no longer be his caretaker and sister.  

Fast forward 2 1/2 years after laying down those boundaries, my nervous system finally calmed down because I wasn’t on high alert 24/7. And as a result, I’ve been able to strengthen the relationship with my brother…and just be a sister. Oh…and the psoriasis cleared up! 

So choose your yes’s wisely ladies. Because if you don’t, eventually all of those forced yes’s are gonna catch up to you. And it’s gonna show up in the form of chronic disease, autoimmune disease, as stress in your body physically breaking down. This shit is real. Be empowered to say no when you really don’t have the capacity to say yes.