I was on my way to meet up with some girlfriends for a fun girls night out, feeling like an absolute goddess. I was rocking a deep-V bodysuit and genie pants. (And if you have no idea what that looks like, imagine a jumpsuit, with an open chest and slits down the sides of the pants.) There I was strutting down the sidewalk in my gold-plated 5 inch stilettos—serving main character energy.
As I’m walking towards the rooftop bar excited to see my girlfriends, I passed a woman who made damn sure I caught her once-over. Her eyes conspicuously dragged up and down my body, her face tightening into a look of disapproval. And just like that, the judgments rolled in….
Was I too revealing? Did I look like a slut? Was I cheap? Desperate for attention? I didn’t ask myself these questions out of insecurity. I asked them because I knew that’s what she was probably thinking. I didn’t take offense. Not even for a second. Because her judgment had nothing to do with me and everything to do with her.
And then it hit me—women judge other women because we’re conditioned to. You’re taught a way of thinking, you build a belief system—sometimes intentionally, sometimes unconsciously—and when someone else shatters that system just by existing, it shakes you. In that moment of discomfort is where judgment creeps in.
But let me ask you this—are your beliefs really yours? Or are they hand-me-downs from a culture that profits off your shame? What stories have you swallowed whole without ever questioning whether they were true?
We’re told a woman who enjoys her body is a “slut.” If she’s ambitious, she’s “cold” or “too masculine.” If she owns her confidence, she’s “arrogant.” If she refuses to conform, she’s “weird” or “unattractive.” And we don’t just accept these labels—we weaponize them against each other.
But what if, instead of judging, we got curious? What if, the next time you saw a woman walking down the street in something bold, something revealing, something different—you didn’t immediately slap a label on her? What if you caught yourself thinking, why did I just call her a floozy in my mind? You don’t know her story. Maybe she just got the best news of her life—maybe she just found out her breast cancer screening came back negative, and she wants to celebrate the fact that she doesn’t have to lop off her breasts. Maybe she’s reclaiming her body after years of shame, finally stepping into the power that was stolen from her by judgment, by trauma, by a society that told her she wasn’t enough.
And maybe—just maybe—the reason you judge someone else is because of your shame. The shame you’ve been carrying, the beliefs you never questioned, the rules you never agreed to but still follow like they were written in stone.
So the next time you think you’re being judged, don’t be so quick to take offense babe. Don’t absorb it. Recognize it for what it is— their battle, not yours. And if you catch yourself judging another woman, pause. Ask yourself where that judgment is coming from. You might just uncover something about yourself boo.
If you’re ready to stop hiding, stop judging, and start owning your confidence, my Fierce Confidence™ program is your next step. It’s not about “fixing” anything—it’s about releasing the shame that’s been keeping you stuck. It’s about finally stepping into the freedom that comes from unapologetically owning your truth.
No more shame. No more judgment. Only fierce, unapologetic YOU. Ready to turn yourself on? Let’s make it happen. Join today.
